Carrie Underwood is opening up in the upcoming June issue of Marie Claire, and what she says may surprise you. She's been called shy and standoffish but that isn't the case.
After she was crowned an American Idol in 2005, the soft-spoken star's world changed overnight. "At the beginning of my career, I used to have panic attacks. People were touching me, screaming -- it made me really nervous. In public, I just get nervous. It's a physical reaction, feeling like the walls are closing in," she explains. "The fans are great. It's not their fault. I don't ever want to come across as ungrateful. But on my end, it is hard for me to process. Because I am still just me."
Carrie wasn't shocked at her success, she always knew she was destined for stardom, but she had no idea how quickly it would come. In her high school yearbook, she listed a series of goals she wanted to achieve before her class reunion. "You were supposed to say what you would be doing in 10 years, and I said, 'I will be rich, famous, and married to a hot guy,'" she says, "I guess I should have added a few more things!"
Carrie isn't a girly, get in touch with your feelings kind of gal.
"I'm not a mushy person at all. We were never a huggy family. Or a 'let's talk it out' family. Technically I have siblings, but they are quite a bit older than me. I was the accident, so I have the only-child syndrome going on," Underwood admits. "I'm a little more selfish, a little more independent, a little closed. I do wish I were softer. I wish I were able to form relationships better. But hey, I mean, I'm not a sociopath."When the topic of kids comes up, Underwood admits she's not ready to start a family with Fisher, 32. "I don't feel old enough to have kids," she says. "I know I am mature. But being responsible for another human?" You can read the full article once the June issue hits newsstands May 21st. ~Vanessa