By Kelsea Stahler, Hollywood.com Staff

Stop the madness, please. Year in and year out, we're plagued with the worst of the worst celebrity stories. Somehow the most obnoxious tales are the ones that garner our whole-hearted obsession. It's just the way we're wired. But who says we can't dream of a 2013 full of Kimye babies instead of Amanda Bynes' inability to drive like a human with functioning eyes?

In the spirit of that hope, we're laying out 2013's celebrity contract. If only we could get a few stars to (actually) sign...

Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler

[Photo Credit: Alex J. Berliner/BEImages]

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