The singer, who got her start appearing on Barney & Friends , tells Cosmo , "At the time, I was just so grateful to be on TV, but I was also really struggling...Even before Barney , I was suicidal. I was seven. With Barney, I guess subliminally, I did have a relationship with this figure that was saving my life in a way."
She adds, "I've talked about being bullied and the years of being a teenager, but I went through things when I was younger that I've never talked about that probably caused me to turn out the way I ended up turning out."
Along that same topic, one of the songs on Demi's new album, "Warrior," has lyrics that declare, "There's a part of me I can't get back/A little girl grew up too fast/All it took was once, I'll never be the same/Now I'm taking back my life today."
Demi tells Cosmopolitan , "My family knows what it's about. When I'm ready to open up on that subject with the outside world, then I'll be free to talk about it. But right now, it's kind of one of those things where the lyrics speak for me. It's all in the song."
Demi says she refuses to numb her emotional pain with drugs or alcohol. "When I look at someone who's out there partying excessively or rappers rapping about doing drugs, who people look up to, and think, 'Oh that's a gangster,' I think, 'You're actually being a giant p***y'...If you're spending your entire early 20s chasing the next party, what are you running away from? That's not a bad*ss. What's a bad*ss is when you can sit through your problems and feel emotions when you don't want to have them."
She adds, "There have been nights where I've had to sit on my hands, because I want to act out, because I physically can't sit still in the pain I'm dealing with, from looking back and being bullied or other things that happened. And now, as hard as it may be, I will do that. That's what makes me a bad*ss. Being a bad*ss is handling your sh*t."
Read more from Demi in the August issue of Cosmo.
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