Raising confident kids is important. We often make mistakes we don't even realize we're making.
I think back to my childhood and realize that much of my own body image issues comes from my mom. As a child I heard my mom constantly talking about how fat she is, about a new diet that she was trying, and saying that she just needs to stop eating all together because she's just too fat.
This is damaging self talk that is also damaging to the developing child listening. I remember being in gym class in elementary school comparing myself to the other kids and feeling like I needed to suck in my stomach so no one would notice how fat I was…I was 7 years old! I remember riding my bike in shorts in the summer with my neighbors and worrying about my big thighs…I was 10. I remember once when I was in 8th grade shopping with friends and telling my best friend that if I ever wear double digit sized jeans I'm never leaving the house. These thoughts were planted in my brain because of my mom's own body issues.
Here are 6 things you can do to help your kids' confidence
1. Never let them hear you say you want to lose weight. Negative self talk isn't healthy for you and it is not healthy for them to hear. Instead talk about how you want to be more healthy. Teach them that your choices aren't about weight they're about health.
2. Don't say the word fat…unless you're talking about hamburger or steak. Fat is often used as a negative and shouldn't be seen that way. Remember that fat does not always equal unhealthy.
3. Don't talk about the weight you've gained or about anyone else's weight. Weight does not equal value. Think of your mom or your grandma or your best friend does your love for them have anything to do with their weight? NOPE!
4. When you wear something that makes you feel good. Talk about it. We always mention when we don't feel good, but we should start talking about it when we feel beautiful and confident.
5. DO NOT DIET. First of all, diets don't work. Second, dieting is unhealthy for your body and your mind. If you don't feel good about yourself it doesn't matter how many diets you try or how much weight you lose you'll never be happy. For me no matter how small I was I always wanted to lose more weight and for some people it can become an obsession and it can be dangerous.
6. Never compare yourself to someone else. Your body is your body and their body is their body. There are lots of different factors that determine what your body looks like and they're different for everyone. You are you and you need to love the body you're in, it does a lot for you.
I am still working on myself and getting my mind right. The one thing I can say is that I have an amazing husband who constantly tells me I'm beautiful and sexy and he scolds me whenever I say something negative about myself within earshot of our girls.
One of the things I've decided to do based on the advice of a couple of my favorite YouTubers, Seirra Schultzie and Carrie Dayton, is clean up my Instagram and YouTube and stop following people that make me feel bad about myself, people obsessed with weight and people who push a lot of crazy diets. I also have put my time into relationships with people that spread the message of confidence at every size and shape.
I found this video by Carrie Dayton very theraputic. I hope you do too if you are also on a body acceptance Journey.
